The 30 Habits of Highly Empowered Women

While doing a little dusting in the office, I spotted a well-worn copy of Steven Covey’s classic, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.  This book first introduced us to concepts like the “abundance mentality” and the “upward spiral”, launching us down a path of personal development and growth, and a desire to support other women to do the same.

Seeing that title again got us thinking about the habits of highly empowered women.  What qualities do these women have in common?  What is it that sets these women apart from their counterparts?  Some lively conversation and a brainstorming session later and we came up with quite a list:  “The 30 Habits of Highly Empowered Women”.

1.    Empowered women know they have a mission to fulfill. They think, plan and live in accordance with their life purpose.

2.    Empowered women set aside the stereotypes and instead choose to focus on being their best and most authentic self.

3.    Empowered women know it’s o.k. to ask for what they want. They feel deserving of the best life has to offer.

4.    Empowered women have an open mind. They welcome new ideas and often a change of mind is more like a change of limiting belief.

5.    Empowered women see fear for what it is, “False Evidence Appearing Real”.

6.    Empowered women spread love and kindness wherever they go. Their open hearts attract great opportunities and wonderful people to them!

7.    Empowered women make their own self-care a top priority. They know they can’t help others if their personal energy is in short supply.

8.    Empowered women show gratitude for all the gifts in their life. It’s this gratitude that brings them abundance!

9.    Empowered women accept the differences in others. We’re all uniquely different (and equally important) after all!

10.    Empowered women surround themselves with other empowered women. They know the support of others allows them to do really great things.

11.    Empowered women close energy-sucking cycles in their lives. They know what’s important and can delegate or even dump the unnecessary.

12.    Empowered women are clear on their core values and live according to them. It’s the only way to fulfill their life’s purpose.

13.    Empowered women live a life of clarity. They know what they want to create or accomplish and they keep their eye on their goals daily.

14.    Empowered women take 100% responsibility. No matter how difficult, they always have a choice, and every decision is theirs to make.

15.    Empowered women believe anything is possible! They achieve because they believe!

16.    Empowered women recognize when things aren’t working in their lives and make the necessary course corrections to get back on track.

17.    Empowered women commit to constant and never-ending self-improvement. Knowledge is power!

18.    Empowered women put more focus and attention on the positive than the negative.

19.    Empowered women are constantly challenging their limits beliefs. They often question “why” and “why not”.

20.    Empowered women live in present time consciousness. They experience each moment to the fullest.

21.    Empowered women are honest with themselves and others. By living truthfully they will have no regrets!

22.    Empowered women “pay” themselves first. When their financial house is in order, they have more ways and means to give to the world.

23.    Empowered women empower themselves by empowering others. That’s all we’ve got to say about that!

24.    Empowered women don’t fall into playing the blame game. “If it’s to be, it’s up to me,” is their mantra!

25.    Empowered women know how to say no. They don’t let feelings of guilt or obligation keep them from what’s really important.

26.    Empowered women never, never, never give up on their dreams and goals. They believe and achieve!

27.    Empowered women have a strong relationship with their Creator, taking time for daily reflection and meditation.

28.    Empowered women living in balance; mind, body and spirit.

29.    Empowered women go over, under, around or through every challenge until they achieve their goals.

30.    Empowered women spend life doing the “right” things, instead of just “more” things.

Of course there are many, many more qualities that highly empowered women share.  What traits would have made your top habits list?  Please comment below.

The Soul Sisters

Be Thankful

With the Thanksgiving holiday coming, our thoughts naturally turn to gratitude.  We know things aren’t perfect by any stretch, and many of our readers and Soulspring Groups’ members are experiencing the backlash of political unrest, financials woes, and natural disasters taking place in their parts of the world.

Still, regardless of your situation there’s always something for which to be grateful.  Below is one of our favorite poems that puts the concepts of thankfulness and gratitude into perspective and we would like to share it with you this Thanksgiving week.

Enjoy the holiday in joyful  thanksgiving.

The Soul Sisters

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

Author Unknown

The Effects of Fear Can Be Scary

Fear can be complicated and range from worry to phobia and all points in between.  We all have times in our lives when we are gripped by fear.  It’s natural and thanks to fear and “fight or flight” the reason we’re still surviving on the plant.  But there are times when fear creeps into our everyday life like a goblin, trapping us in negative thinking and self-talk, and paralyzing us from taking the steps towards a better life.

That’s when it’s time to regain your personal power and the 5 tips below can show you how!

1. Fear is a talented trickster.  Our fears trick us into believing they are based on fact, when in actuality most of our fear lives in the future.  Usually fear is about something that “might” happen, not something that we definitely-know-for-sure will.  Maintain a focus on the present and when fear sets in ask yourself, “Is there anything for me to be afraid of at this very moment in time?”  The answer will surprise and relieve you!

2. Fear is just an emotion and just like any emotion, it can control us if we give it the power.  Irrational fear is an overblown imagination of what might happen in the future.  When you are afraid that your plane will crash, it is just an emotion not the crash itself that frightens you.  Recognizing this will render your fear powerless.

3. Fear is always about loss; loss of life, loss of wealth, loss of security, loss of comfort, etc.  The fear of loss is directly proportionate to the intensity of the attachment you have.  Dissect your fear or worry down to what you fear will be lost and ask yourself, “If this fear came true, what is the worst thing that can happen?”  Often you will find that your worst case scenario is a long shot and your fear can be easily overcome with the right plan of action and safeguards.

4. Fear is present only when there is a desire.  Fear arises only when there is conflict between what we want and what “might” happen.  We build up expectations around life and come up with a concrete picture of how our lives “should” turn out.  This inflexibility forms a strong foundation for fear.  If we are open to new possibilities and a new vision of safety, comfort and success, we can be courageous.  When we flow with life, fears dissolve.  When you find yourself wracked with fear, ask yourself, “Why should I resist this?”  You may find the strength to let go and flow.

5. Beliefs about fear can be transformed.  The scariest thing about fear is the effect it has on our lives.  For many, it is fear that stands between us, and the best that life has to offer.  It is possible however, to change how we look at fear.  Instead of a barrier standing in our way, what if we chose to look at fear differently and really challenge our deepest beliefs about fear?  Instead of thinking of fear as bad, consider the benefits we experience because of it.  For example, fears like reaching into a burning fire, walking across thin ice, or driving under the influence are valid; these warnings should be heeded.  However, most of our fears are based on worst-case scenarios that we fabricate in our head.  Choose to adopt new and empowering beliefs about fear and you will find it easier to overcome them.

The Soul Sisters

What Dis-Empowering Spells are you Under?

What Dis-Empowering Spells are you Under?There are times when life is pure magic; and then there are times when the spell is on you!  We’re not talking hexes or voodoo.  The curses we’re referring to are the ones we cast on ourselves.  Below are the top 5 disempowering spells we see women living under and how you can break them.

Break the Spell of Negative Thinking: Watch what you think about because often it’s what you will bring about.  Think positive, happy and grateful thoughts, and you’ll attract more of the same.  Likewise, focus on what’s wrong in the world, the deadlines at work, difficulties with the family, and you’ll find it hard to fit a good thought in edgewise!  If you’re looking to make a big impact fast, change the way you look at things.  Find the silver lining in every situation and soon your outlook will transform, as if by magic.

Break the Spell of Limiting Beliefs: Our thought patterns are formed at a young age, often inspired by influential adults and experiences during our young formative years.  Our beliefs about money, self-worth, deservedness, and more, are shaped early-on, never to be questioned again.  But question you must!  What if you belief is a lie?

Every belief that is holding you back from your best life can be converted into a new, true, and empowering belief, simply by changing your mindset.  “The Work” by Bryon Katie, offers a formula for questioning these thoughts: Is it true?  Can you absolutely know it’s true?  How do you react (what happens) when you believe that thought?  Who would you be without the thought?

Break the Spell of Blame: Have you been playing the game of “Blame and Complain”?  Well, no more pointing fingers at your parents for the way you were raised, at your spouse for not helping enough around the house, or at the boss for hating your job.  If you know there’s a problem and things aren’t working, decide to make a change and then follow through.  Nobody is in charge of your happiness but you.

Break the Spell of Mistakes:  We’re all human and make mistakes.  Don’t let them hold you hostage for the rest of your life!  Think of them as experience and practice for your future.  Admit your role, make amends with those hurt (including you), and then break free from the past so it won’t screw up the present.

Break the Spell of Envy: Do you have a propensity towards a “grass is always greener” way of thinking?  If you actually had the opportunity to walk a mile in some else’s shoes, you might be surprised at what you find.  If we all threw our problems into a pile, and saw ours compared side-by-side with everyone else’s, we’re pretty confident we’d each grab our own back.

The Soul Sisters

Lessons from 9/11

Lessons from 9-11This blog post, which was originally written and posted on the Soul Sisters Blog in commemoration of the 10 year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, resonated with many and received a lot of attention.  Now another year has passed and we were compelled to share it with you once again.  Our hope is that it’s a fitting tribute to those who lost their lives.  May their families find comfort in the far-reaching legacy their loved ones left behind.

The commemoration of 10 years since the 9/11 attacks on our country has sparked many comments, thoughts and emotions. Each media outlet has scheduled a tribute. “Where were you on 9/11,” is a popular topic of conversation. Certainly your own community recognized the date with a remembrance as well.

We’ve seen mixed sentiments about the anniversary; everything from “we must never forget” to “it’s time to move on”. Without a doubt, the decision of “how” or “if” to recognize this tragic date is a personal one.

For us, it didn’t seem right to let the day pass without some form of acknowledgement. While we weren’t directly affected by the tragic events, our lives were drastically changed, nonetheless. What was essentially meant to be a political attack became, for every American, a personal one.

Now 10 years later, we look at where we’ve come since that tragic day. The disbelief, horror, fear, anger, frustration, have gradually given way to something deeper. What came out of the 9/11 tragedy for you? Below are 4 lessons that have emerged for us…

Appreciation: One of the most important lessons learned since that infamous day is the importance of appreciation; to learn to appreciate the little, everyday things around us. The hugs from our spouse, laughs from our children, casual interactions with friends; all could be snatched away in an instant. The present moment is a gift to be cherished.

Kindness: Who can forget the news reports showing strangers helping strangers? While most of us will never be called to carry a wounded person down fifty flights in a dark stairwell, in the shadow of 9/11 there are many more small and random acts of kindness taking place. Some even chose to commemorate the 9/11 anniversary with random acts of kindness campaigns. What a fitting tribute.

Passion: Whether to honor the dreams or desires of the ones who were lost, or the rekindled hopes of those that survived, many a passion was ignited in the aftermath of 9/11. We were inspired by the stories of families who started charities in the name of loved ones, and those who upon realizing how precious and short life is, took a leap of faith and ran after their dreams and goals. Certainly, countless people across the world were helped as a result.

Courage: Surely we’ve all imagined ourselves in the shoes of the victims of 9/11. Held hostage in an aircraft destined to become a flying weapon, trapped in the uppermost floors of a burning building with no hope of escape. How would we react? What would we do? In those final moments, there were phone messages to loved ones, giving many priceless mementos that will surely be cherished forever. There were last ditch efforts to thwart the plot, ultimately saving countless lives. There were selfless acts of heroism, forcing many to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Yes, there’s much to remember on this 10 year anniversary. What lessons did you learn since the tragic events of September 11, 2001? Please share them in a comment below. The

Soul Sisters

The Happiness Secret You’ve Been Longing For

Have you ever wanted to understand the secret to living a truly happy, empowered, and high-quality life?  Well today we reveal the secret…

The Secret: Happiness and empowerment are not always achieved by doing more; happiness is sometimes more about what you remove from life than what you add to it.

How can this be?  Wouldn’t it stand to reason that a full life (doing, accomplishing, and getting stuff done) would also be a fulfilling one?  Well, not always.

Doing what you feel truly passionate about and eliminating what you do out of perceived obligation or guilt, is the key to living your best life.  It’s by recognizing where you can get the most reward from your efforts, and how you and those most important to you benefit, do you allow yourself permission to give your time and attention to those areas.

So how can you make sure you’re giving your time to the right stuff?  Try this simple exercise:

Pull out your to-do list (if it’s currently in your head, get your to-dos down on paper for the purposes of this exercise). For each item on the list ask yourself the following questions:

Why is this task important?
Why is this task MY responsibility (in other words, why are YOU doing this task)?
Where does this task fit within MY priorities?
What is the worst thing that would happen if the task does not get done?

For example, if one of the items on your task list is to clean the cat’s litter box, the importance of the task would depend on how important your cat is to your life.  If the cat is your daughter’s, you may be coming to the realization that your daughter might be the better candidate for the job, and that the cleanliness of the cat box isn’t a high priority task for you at all.  You’re realizing you assumed the position of litter box cleaner several years ago, when the cat was given to your daughter as a kitten.  She was too young to care for the cat at the time, but now is quite capable.  Passing on the honor to your daughter is sounding pretty good right now, however the little voice inside argues that it’s easier for you to clean the litter box and takes less time and effort than the nagging that would be required to get your daughter to do it.

Well, that may be the case initially, however it’s now clear that you’re doing the task out of obligation, denying your daughter this important lesson in responsibility, and feeling very underappreciated in the process; clearly not a recipe for happiness or empowerment for either of you.

While the above example may seem trivial, believe me, we’ve heard sillier reasons why there’s no time to work toward an important dream or goal.  And since when is cleaning the litter box more important than your life purpose?

It’s time to challenge your obligations and priorities.  While we’re not advocating that you dump all the dirty and menial chores on the spouse and kids, we are challenging you to question where and what gets your time and attention.  What you may discover is that you’ve been giving top status to things that are unimportant and not your priority at all.  Delegate, dump, divide or work out some deal, so you can have time for what’s really important to you.

The Soul Sisters

Why Don’t Super Heroes have Snarls?

While combing my 6-year-old daughter’s hair the other night, she irritably asked why she had so many snarls in her hair.  Obviously the detangler wasn’t working.  I explained that it’s just the price she’ll have to pay if she wants long hair.  After a moment of thought she said, “Well how come Wonder Woman doesn’t have snarls?”

Wonder Woman doesn’t have snarls?  This was complete news to me.  Why wouldn’t she have snarls from time to time?  Don’t we all?

So I had to ask, “Why doesn’t Wonder Woman have snarls?”

“Because she would use her super powers against them,” my youngster replied quickly.

This isn’t the first time my daughter has taken my long-standing limiting beliefs, and presented them to me in a new and fresh way.  It’s one of the things I love most about her and is a little like a refreshing slap in the face.

After some thought I realized she was right; it would make complete sense that Wonder Woman would use her super powers in every way possible; from the biggest of rescue missions to the littlest of knotted hair.

(Do you feel an analogy coming on here?  Of course you do!)

We all have our own unique set of super powers, but how often do we really use them?  Do you tend to keep them secret, saving them for something truly worthwhile?  Or maybe for you it’s the opposite; when you see a BIG opportunity to show off your stuff, you freak out and sink out of sight?

Your super powers are unique and special to you; a gift for you to use.  They won’t run out or deplete with regular use, in fact it’s just the opposite.  The more you use your unique set of strengths and talents, the stronger these super power gifts become!  What a waste to not use them frequently and to their full potential!

The Soul Sisters

From Fearful to Powerful: 16 Quotations to Conquer Your Fear

From Fearful to Powerful: 16 Quotes to Conquer FearThere’s no denying there is power in words.  That’’s why at Soulspring Groups we believe an inspiring quote has the ability to empower, encourage, and uplift, even when all else has failed.  If you’ve ever been held back by fear, and who among us hasn’t, you’ll want to keep these 16 quotations close at hand.

The next time you’re tempted to let fear get the best of you, let an opportunity pass you by, give up a passion because of the “what if’s”, read these wise words from those who looked fear in the face and did it anyway.  Consider each your Soulspiration of the Week…

“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”  ~Mary Manin Morrissey

“Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop.”  ~Usman B. Asif

“Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it.”  ~Henry S. Haskins

“Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.”  ~Brendan Francis

“Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small.”  ~Ruth Gendler

“Fear:  False Evidence Appearing Real.”  ~Author Unknown

“Anything I’ve ever done that ultimately was worthwhile… initially scared me to death.”  ~Betty Bender

“I have accepted fear as a part of life – specifically the fear of change…. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says:  turn back.”  ~Erica Jong

“Fear is the cheapest room in the house.  I would like to see you living in better conditions.”  ~Hafez

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”

“He who is not every day conquering some fear, has not learned the secret of life.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”  ~Marianne Williamson

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”  ~Joseph Campbell

“You are frightened of everything. You call it caution. You call it common sense. You call it practicality. You call it playing the odds, but that’s only because you’re afraid to call it by its real name, and its real name is fear.”  ~Mick Farren

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

“You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.”  ~Dale Carnegie

Do you have a favorite piece of wisdom that’s inspired you in times of fear?  Please share it in the comment area below and help us grow our Fearful to Powerful collection!

The Soul Sisters

A Tribute to Friendship

A Tributed to FriendshipWhat would we do without our friends?  Strong and healthy friendships are extremely important to our well-being and empowerment.  Women especially rely on close personal friendships for support, encouragement, inspiration and feedback.

This month via Twitter, Soulspring Groups has been offering a daily tribute to the important roles friends play in our lives.  You’ve all heard the saying, “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.”  Very wise advice certainly, however there were many more “don’ts” to add to the list, and with the help of the Soulspring Groups community on Facebook, we created this list…

  1. Put themselves down.
  2. Play it safe.
  3. Think negative thoughts.
  4. Let fear hold them back.
  5. Lose faith.
  6. Work too hard.
  7. Miss an opportunity.
  8. Get lonely.
  9. Live in the past.
  10. Ignore their passion.
  11. Forfeit vacation time.
  12. Sing karaoke solo.
  13. Say never.
  14. Feel sorry for themselves.
  15. Give up.
  16. Cower in the face of challenge.
  17. Stop learning.
  18. Underestimate their own potential.
  19. Take no for an answer.
  20. Waste energy on worry.
  21. Take things personally.
  22. Over analyze.
  23. Forget your birthday!
  24. Chicken out.
  25. Put a limit on happiness.
  26. Have regrets.
  27. Want for love.
  28. Forget who they are.
  29. Miss out on a good sale.
  30. Ruin a fresh manicure.
  31. Walk around with food in their teeth.
  32. Lie to themselves.

What an amazing list, and we’re sure there are many more!  Tell us…how would you complete the statement, “Friends don’t let friends _______________.”  Share your ideas in the comment area below as a way to pay tribute to your pals and share this post so your friends can do same!

The Soul Sisters

Women’s Empowerment Tip: A Life Lesson from Coffee

A Life Lesson from CoffeeI was inspired by an email forward the other day, and of course I knew I needed to share the lesson with my favorite group of empowered women!

As the story goes, a mother in an effort to teach her grown daughter a life lesson, puts three seemingly unrelated objects into separate pots of boiling water: a carrot, an egg, and some coffee.  And here comes the lesson:

The mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting.  However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.  The egg had been fragile.  Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened.  The ground coffee beans were unique, however.  After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter.  “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?  Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

And we ask the same of you…

Are you the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity wilt and become soft and lose your strength?

Are you the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?  Did you have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, became hardened and stiff?  Does your shell look the same, but on the inside are you bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or, are you like the coffee bean?  The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.  When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.  If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

Of course there are life lessons in every adversity we face, and as we mature and gain wisdom, our typical reactions to various situations change.  Can you think back to particularly difficult time?  Did you respond like the carrot, the egg or the coffee?  How would you hope to respond to challenging times in the future?  We would love for you to post your comments below.

The Soul Sisters