You’re in Control: 7 “Empower Points” for Decision Making

7 "Empower Points" for Decision MakingWhat to eat for breakfast, what time to go to bed, should you go to that social event or not?  We’re faced with a million choices throughout the course of the day and unless confronted with an especially tough decision, rarely give them a second thought.

There’s power in choice and decision-making however; it’s one of the few areas of our lives that is within our control.

 

“Your money, or your life?”
“You or me?”
“Happiness or success?”
“Paper or plastic?”

While we may not always like our options, the final choice is up to us, and when we realize the responsibility we have in our own lives based on our decisions, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.

When it comes to making empowered choices, we offer these 7 “Empower Points”:

1. There are 2 ways to live – floundering and drifting or making conscious decisions.  The choice is yours.

2. Making a “right” decision will lead to less stress and a path to move forward in life.

3. The ultimate goal in life is to look at our wants, determine our opportunities, and try and make the best choices by weighing the costs.

4. Take the time for self-reflection.  This will often reveal where different choices need to be made in your life.

5. Before taking on a big decision make sure your goals and values are crystal clear…these will point you in the right direction.

6. Don’t let a BIG decision scare you.  Feel free to break a decision into smaller decisions and from there steps that feel more attainable.

7. There will always be people who question your priorities, disagree with your decisions, and get mad when you don’t follow their lead.  Don’t base your decisions on the need to please others.

The Soul Sisters

30 Power Thoughts to Change Your Life

30 Power Thoughts to Change Your LifeThoughts are things and when you consider that 80% of our daily thoughts are negative, that can be a pretty frightening scenario.  It’s no wonder we’re stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, stuck and afraid; it’s what we think about all day long!

But what if for 30 days you could take steps to change the way you think?  What if you took responsibility and control over the way you think?  What if you began each day with the intention to make a positive change?

Below are 30 Power Thoughts that will help you do just that!  A statement to kick the day off right, we’ve given you one for each of the next 30 days.  Print the list and commit to focusing on the “thought of the day” for a few minutes each morning, afternoon and night.  Then watch how your perspective, attitude and life change as a results!  Please report back with your results!

30 Power Thoughts:

  1. What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!
  2. To fulfill my desires all I need to do is step up and claim (and proclaim) what I want.
  3. I teach people how to treat me. Today I will teach them to treat me the way I desire; kind, loving, respectful.
  4. By holding on to past wrongs I am not making room for my future.  Today I choose forgiveness.
  5. Even in difficult times, there’s a reward in knowing I did what was right. Today I will do what feels right to me.
  6. I must be truthful to myself in order to grow.  I release myself from denial and choose honesty.
  7. I was put on this Earth to fulfill a purpose and the sooner I discover my purpose, the sooner I can get busy!
  8. I am in the here and now. I will no longer base decisions on what has happened to me in the past.
  9. There is no reason for me to fear failure. Failure is the best way to learn and grow in experience.
  10. I am responsible for my own choices. Therefore, I will not make choices based on the desires of others.
  11. It is never too late for anything. Instead of wasting time with regret I will set out to do what I’ve always intended.
  12. I will take the golden rule one step further; I will treat MYSELF with the same kindness & respect as I show to others.
  13. I understand that I can be my biggest problem.  But I also know within me is the power to be the ultimate solution.
  14. Remaining in my comfort zone doesn’t allow for growth. Today I’m busting out from what feels comfortable and safe.
  15. Everything in life is neutral. What I deem to be positive or negative is based on my attitude and perspective.
  16. I always have a choice. While I may not like my options, I accept the power and responsibility that comes with decision.
  17. I will not over-exaggerate nor belittle my problems. Instead I will face them, deal with them, and then move on.
  18. I will take a hard look at what isn’t working in my life and take deliberate action to make positive change in those areas.
  19. I will not limit things to what I perceive to be possible. I will dream big and have faith that the way will appear.
  20. I will take the time to define my values. This is the only means by which I can gauge what is right for me.
  21. Within me is the power to change my life. I will plug into it and use it to fulfill my purpose.
  22. I no longer fear change! Every change in my life elevates me to new levels of empowerment.
  23. I understand I’m the average of the 5 people I hang around with most. I accept loving and inspiring people into my life.
  24. I rise above the daily chaos that keeps others busy and distracted. I allow myself to be centered, self-aware and wise.
  25. I accept that thoughts are things. I replace disempowering thoughts with empowering ones.
  26. The past and future are illusions. We only have the present and I stay focused on the now, taking a moment at a time.
  27. Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes. Cutting ties does not represent a failure. I know when it’s time to move on.
  28. How I start the day sets the tone for the rest of the day. My morning ritual ensures I experience an extra great day.
  29. Just because it’s a rule doesn’t make it right. I break the rules whenever my highest values are supported by doing so!
  30. With each moment comes an opportunity to create a new beginning. My best self continually reveals itself to the world.

The Soul Sisters

With an Ageless Attitude You’re Never Too Old

With an Ageless Attitude Your Never Too OldIt seems as though there’s a common fear among women as they age; that they have an expiration date and once they reach a certain point in time they’re too old.  Too old to try new things, go on grand adventures, start new careers, or live the life of their dreams.

We’ve never really bought into that way of thinking.  Perhaps it’s because within our midst is a real-life example that debunks this limiting belief; our own mother, Rita.

Shortly after Mom turned 60, she and Dad sold their farmstead of 30 years, got rid of most of their belongings, purchased a massive RV and hit the road with nothing but a compass and possibility ahead of them.  When they announced their plans it wasn’t hard to imagine Dad loving life on the road, but Mom?  She was more of the stay at home and tend to the garden type.  But, it’s been over 7 years now and together they’ve had enough adventures to prove to anyone that you’re never too old.

While they still summer back at the farm, the rest of the year is spent touring the highways and byways of the country and volunteering for the Texas State Park System.  They’ve been east and been west, visited what we believe to be a record number of wineries, walked battlefields and toured mansions, and never leave a state without stopping at the Presidential library, if there is one. Some of their escapades make us extremely nervous and we remind them that we’re not made of money and should they be kidnapped while exploring those remote towns in Mexico, we’re not quite sure how we would pay?!

Their State Park stories make us a bit anxious, too.  The long hikes on rough terrain setting trail markers is very physically demanding, even for the much younger park rangers, let alone a couple of 60 something gringos.  Still, they send back pictures of the group, park rangers exhausted and resting in the shade, Mom and Dad in wide brimmed hats, spry as always and smiling from ear to ear.

You can image our surprise when Mom announced she and Dad would be taking a 4 day tour across the Rio Grande into the mountains of Mexico, on mules no less.  Mules?  Yes, the extremely steep and rough terrain was too much for most horses.  Mules could navigate the rugged country much better.  And so they went, and rode, and had a great time.  We picture their adventure to be a little like Billy Crystal and the gang in City Slickers.  They say it was a full trip, riding up to 25 miles a day, but that they hope to do it again, sore butts and all.

And who can forget white water rafting on the Rio Grande.  The white water was no match for Mom.  Five hours were spent navigating the river along with a guide.  The areas of rapids were a little threatening to them at first but it didn’t take very long at all before they had the hang of it.  They also were able to experience rafting through multiple narrow gorges, too.  And as they glanced up they couldn’t help but notice stranded vehicles perched along the side wall.  Cars that had driven off the road up above and it was too dangerous for any rescue personnel to pull them back out, so there they stayed.  Yikes is right!

But the adventure to beat all, and one that makes us wish we could implant a tracking device into each, consisted of them setting out through the Texas dessert to look for ancient hieroglyphics.  They had heard about them from a park ranger and listened intently as he described the location.  On their next day off they packed up their Jeep and set out across unkempt roads (later we would learn a cactus spine had actually lodged into the tire of their vehicle but they made it all the way back to Wisconsin before the tire began to leak!).

After hours of driving they finally arrived at their destination, a sheer rocky cliff.  Not exactly as they envisioned, and not prepared with any type of climbing gear, they stopped for a moment to question if they should really continue.

Well, since others had done it, they certainly could too and so they set out up the rock face.  Carefully climbing but enjoying every minute.  Upon reaching the top and discovering the ancient drawings, they decided their climb was definitely worth it; a view of untouched history.  The hieroglyphics were amazingly preserved within the recesses of the cliff.  And the view of the mountainous dessert, well that was amazing too.

But then came the even more difficult task of climbing down.  Thankfully they made it back safe and sound and reported back to the park ranger about how amazing their day was.  With wide eyes the ranger replied, “What?!  No one climbs up there!  How did you even make it?!”

Thanks for being such a positive influence on us Mom!  We may not be quite as adventurous as you, but we haven’t given up on ourselves yet!  You’ve proven to us that there’s plenty of time for wild escapades and thrilling explorations.  But more important is this lesson:  Age isn’t a number, and it has nothing to do with how you feel…it’s more of an attitude and yours is ageless.  We love you!

The Soul Sisters

Just in Time for Mother’s Day: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms

Through the power of social media, and a series of coincidences (if that’s indeed what they were), we were fortunate to connect with Kristine Carlson, wife of the late Richard Carlson who authored the best selling “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” books, three of which were co-authored by Kristine herself.  Her book, “Heartbroken Open: A Memoir Through Loss to Self-Discovery” has helped many cope with the grief of losing a loved one, members of our own families included.

So when we heard she was continuing the tradition of “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” and writing a book for moms, we waited and followed with intense anticipation.  As followers of Kristine’s Facebook page we were continuously amazed by her deep, reflective, spiritual approach to life and living.  Authentic and vulnerable, she shares openly about the triumphs and tragedies of her life, spreading faith, hope, wisdom, and humor along the way.

We were fortunate to receive a pre-release copy of “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms: Simple Ways to Stress Less and Enjoy Your Family More” and immediately knew it was a winner; hundreds of anecdotes, lessons, wisdom and advice written specifically for moms by a mom.  Nearly every aspect of mothering and family are addressed in the book in some fashion – from self-care and taking care of yourself first, to heavier topics such as the emotional safety of our children, to the more practical topics of living “green” and teaching your children financial responsibility.  What we especially love about the book is how Kristin broke it down into 100 short chapters…clearly as a mom, she understands that time is sometimes only available in small chunks.  “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms” is easy to pick up and read whenever you get a free moment.  Plus, all the advice is simple enough that it can be easily applied to our lives immediately.  Brilliant!

True to the title, Kristine puts all anxiety, stress and pressure about motherhood into perspective.  Throughout the book important themes repeat: It’s all okay, it’s acceptable and necessary to take time for yourself, perfection is over-rated, you can seek out help from others, etc.  As moms we tend to visualize the picture of that perfect mom in our heads, and we are constantly striving for that…it’s unattainable and leaves us feeling burned out, unhappy, and feeling as though we have failed.

Finally, the significance, magnitude and understanding of what it takes to excel at motherhood has been eloquently translated into written-word.  It’s easy for mom’s to feel underappreciated by society, as was exemplified by the back-and-forth after Hilary Rosen’s comments in regards to Ann Romney’s decision to raise her five boys as a full-time mom.  It’s gratifying to see it in writing.  Moms are the heart of the home, the leader of the family, the orchestrator of the schedules…finally someone noticed!

But is motherhood everything?  As Kristine states, “I’m still devoted to family, but I am not confined by that role.”  Many mothers get themselves into trouble by placing their entire focus on family.  They are doing themselves a disservice by underestimating the importance of their personal goals, interests and passions.  Had Kristine subscribed to that philosophy, we wouldn’t have this amazing guidebook to a more relaxed form of motherhood.

Early on in the book, Kristine shared the oxygen mask/flight attendant metaphor.  Anyone who’s flown on an airplane and has listened to the flight attendant’s instructions will relate; “In the unlikely event that air pressure drops within the aircraft, oxygen masks will deploy from the ceiling.” You’re then instructed to put the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others, even your children.  The logic is clear; if you’ve passed out from a lack of oxygen, you’re of no use to the people around you.  This sets the stage for the rest of the book.  Over and over again she reiterated that we, as moms, need to feed ourselves first – create a special place for ourselves in our homes, take a “mommy time-out”, plan “rest” time for ourselves each week, etc.

As women, we often seek out the advice of other women.  Here, we are receiving the advice and wisdom of one of the most understanding and grounded moms out there.  You can feel her love, energy, and sensible style with each turn of the page.  She has such an amazing soul and even if a fraction of her advice and wisdom rubs off on us, reading this book and expanding our beliefs about motherhood will make us less stressed moms raising happier kids.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms” is for every mother.  The young moms will find the advice helpful in getting off on the right motherhood foot; asking for help when it’s needed, not holding yourself to crazy standards, and more.  For more experienced moms, it will remind them of how much of a feat being a mom really is and that they should be proud of their accomplishment.  It will also give them permission to reassess how things are running in the home and inspire them to make changes where they feel it’s needed. Practical parenting advice such as taking a breath before responding to a child who is testing your patience is a great reminder to all of us.

Pick up a copy and learn for yourself how you can be happier and stress less as a mom.  Still not convinced?  Kristine had graciously allowed us to share an excerpt from the book, a portion of the chapter, “Empowered Mom”, as the feature article in our May Soulspiration e-newsletter.  We couldn’t think of a better way to commemorate Mother’s Day for our subscribers.  If you’ve yet to join our email list, please sign up today (and claim your free e-book, “50 Reasons to Believe in You”).

The Soul Sisters

P.S. Join the community of Don’t Sweat Moms on Facebook!  Declare that you’re a “Don’t Sweat it Mom” here!

Growing Grass the Wrong Way

My husband and I bought our home 10 years ago this November. We were 20 and 23. Uffta, way too young to take on such responsibility! Thank goodness my husband and I had the perfect mix of patience, love, and common sense to see us through!

When we bought our house it was newly built but had been left vacant for over a year. It was exciting to have a “new” house but the yard definitely needed some TLC. Grass was never planted and the lawn was literally a yard full of waist-high weeds. It was November and there was no growing season left for the year. The only option we had was to cut everything down to the ground and tackle the grass situation the following spring.

Five months later my husband decided it was time. Finally some green grass was in the works! The first step was loosening up the dirt and since we had no prior knowledge of anything of this magnitude (we had only cut the stuff before), we relied on our common sense and went to work. Brad put me on a lawn mower and told me to drive in circles while I pulled a “drag”, weighted by a concrete block, behind me. So that’s what I did – round and round. The ground was exceptionally hard but to me that only meant more trips around.

Being that this was spring, the neighbors were making their first appearances outside after their winter hibernating and we were seeing a lot of them for the first time. As I was busy attempting to bust up the dirt, a neighbor gentlemen stopped me, literally, and said, “You’re doing that completely wrong – you’re going to have to get a tiller in here and till up that ground if you ever want anything to grow.”

I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe that someone would actually stop to point out that they thought we were doing something “wrong”. I drove to the backyard where Brad was working and told him. He said, “Well, get back up there…now we really need this grass to grow.”

The grass did grow that year in our little plot of land. And all these years later we have one of the best looking lawns on the block! I think back to that man anytime I find myself labeling someone’s process as “wrong”. It’s easy to slip into that “controller” role but just because I would do something differently than someone else, doesn’t make their way any less right. And most of the time their way works out just fine. There’s more than one path to the same destination. It was an important life lesson…There is no sense in spreading negativity by pushing our mistaken ideals on other people.

The Soul Sisters