Monthly Archives: June 2012

Who Do You Think You Are: Four Strategies for Self Awareness

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Who Do You Think You Are?Ask a woman to describe who she is and you’ll often hear her describe herself in terms of her current title or role (wife, mother, daughter, etc.) or career (manager, accountant, nurse, etc.).  Come on, we’re so much more than that!

When it comes to self-awareness, we’re our own expert!  Being clear about who you are, what you want, and why you want it, empowers you to consciously and actively make those wants a reality.  We can’t rely on our spouse, family, work and society to tell us who we are!  What we need is a clear direction; a feel for our own true north.  Armed with that awareness, it suddenly becomes easier to side-step the drama, steer clear of the confusion, and step through your fear to the life you were meant to live.

We’ve found these four strategies especially helpful to the self-awareness process:

Know your purpose: Wandering through life hoping you’ll stumble upon health, happiness and prosperity leaves too much to chance.  Where does your true self want to go in life? What legacy do you want to leave behind?  Where do you want to make a difference?  If it’s been a while since you’ve put any thought into what your purpose is for your life, it might take some time to tune in once again. Your true “purpose” resides in your soul and to discover yours you need not only intellectual contemplation but a connection with your intuitive self as well. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  Tap into your personal power, pick a direction that represents genuine happiness, and move toward it.

Know your passions: What would life be without our passions?  And yet, we find that many women toss their passionate pursuits aside, wrongly believing they are not important.  It’s amazing what we let come between us and our dreams.  If you’ve always wondered what it would be like, not to wait around for the good things in life to come to you, but to actually go out and get what you want out of life, focusing on your passions is the first step in that process.  As we like to say, our passions run deep.  Stop waiting for “someday” and make your “someday” today.

Honor your strengths: Have you ever wished for a super power?  Maybe the ability to leap tall buildings or become instantly invisible would come in handy?  Well each of us possesses talents and strengths unique to us that allow us to contribute something special to the world.  We tend to take these abilities for granted but it’s time to start thinking of your strengths and talents as your own super powers!

An amazing resource for identifying your core strengths is Tom Rath’s book, StrengthsFinder 2.0.  A life-changing book for us, it was amazingly powerful to see our unique abilities on paper, allowing us to put into words what we could before only sense and feel, let alone explain.  Pick up a copy and discover your strengths!  It will change your perspective in a big way!

Write a mission: Businesses do it all the time and for good reason.  Something truly powerful happens when you put your purpose into writing.  Suddenly doors open to you and opportunities just show up.  Where there was once struggle and never-ending challenge, now there seems to be a shift in energy and things flow easily and effortlessly.  Putting pen to paper focuses your subconscious in a specific and targeted direction, declaring to the universe your desires and ultimate goal.  Nothing screams authenticity like putting your mission in writing.

The Soul Sisters

Start Living the Rich Life

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You're Worth It!When you think about “you”, what comes to mind?  Do you glow with pride for your successes, or instantly recall every mistake and misstep?  Do you live life with guts and gusto, or feel undeserving of the abundance available to you?

Living a rich life has little to do with net-worth and everything to do with self-worth.  Your personal value is a direct result of your self-esteem and beliefs about your deservedness.  It’s a sad reality that many women suffer from low esteem and consider themselves inferior to others.  Don’t you think it’s time you realize your true value and embrace the best life has to offer?

Well we do!  Don’t surrender another day to anxiety, worry, regret, dissatisfaction, or inadequacy!  Boost your self-worth and self-esteem using the five strategies below.

Stop the Comparisons: Don’t try to be like everyone else.  Comparing yourself to others only perpetuates the cycle of low self-worth and confidence.  Remember, you are unique and created with your own special strengths, skills and talents.  Your main goal is to be your best YOU!  Strive to improve and develop yourself, but don’t judge yourself for not being like someone else.  You’re unique abilities make you great in other ways.

Don’t Take Mistakes so Seriously: Everyone makes mistakes; it’s part of being human.  Mistakes and failure are a necessary part of achievement and success.  Look at Michael Jordan: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”  If you haven’t made any mistakes lately, or if it’s been a while since you’ve failed, you have to ask yourself what you’re missing out on.

Self-Worth Begins with Self-Care: Self-worth, confidence and assuredness increase when you focus on your needs and desires. By ensuring your needs are addressed, you can be the best wife, mother, friend and co-worker you can be.  Deplete all your energies trying to satisfy the needs of others, and there literally will not be enough of you to go around.  What will all the important people in your life do then?  Remember, there’s an important difference between self-ish and self-care.

Throw out the Junk: The junk?  Yes, you know, the mean, hurtful and unconstructive things said to you by others.  The criticisms you repeat in your mind in a never-ending loop?  It’s one thing to be given constructive feedback, but quite another when people use their words to demean, manipulate, degrade and control you.  Toss those words, and the accompanying feelings, out with yesterday’s trash!  Remember it’s the offending party’s issue, NOT yours.  You know the truth and those are the words you must keep repeating… “You are precious,” “You are worthy,” “You are GREAT!”

Power Up Your Passion: Passion takes hold of you and fuels your power.  Passion sparks extreme emotions and makes you feel alive.  Get fired-up about life and make a difference.  The more passion and zest you feel, the more alive and shiny you are!  Get passionate about something…anything!  Let your passion rise to the surface and watch your value grow as you make a difference in the world…even if it’s just your little part of it!

The Soul Sisters

Looking at our Decision Path

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Looking at our Decision PathIt’s always enlightening (and I think kind of fun) to mentally walk backwards through your life and pinpoint a decision that brought you to where you are now.  I can go back all the way to when I was 18 and I decided to take a temporary summer position at Smead Manufacturing in Hastings, MN.

Through that position I met my friend LuAnn.  A year later I rented a room in the basement of LuAnn’s home and got to know her family very well.  Her 14 year old daughter, Taryn, and her friend, Ashley, schemed away at how amazingly perfect it would be for me and Ashley’s older brother to “fall in love and live happily ever after”.  Sure enough they managed to get the two of us on the phone together one afternoon.  We talked that day for 30 minutes and then the following Sunday for 3 hours.  Our first date was a week later.  We dated for 18 months, were engaged for 6 months, and now have been married for 9 years.  So you could say the decision to work at Smead that summer was the best decision of my life.

You’ve also had pivotal decisions in your life that have been important to bringing you to where you are today.  Perhaps choosing the college you attended (or didn’t attend), the person you married, the group of friends you have, or maybe even something as seemingly simple as taking a left turn instead of a right.

To me, retracing your decision path is the ultimate proof that our lives are really in our hands.  While it would be easier to say that we were just dealt a lucky/unlucky hand in life, the truth of the matter is that we are responsible for creating our lives by the choices we make.  Our lives are basically just a summary our years of decisions.

Sometimes it is easy to feel we don’t have a choice in a decision.  It is important to remember that we always have choices; sometimes we just don’t like our options.

It’s important to remember, too, that a choice rarely the final word.  It’s not a must that we always make the right decision the first time.  But it is a must to know when a different decision is necessary.  I love the quote by Steven D. Woodhull, “You’ve got a lot of choices.  If getting out of the bed in the morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.”

Take a look at your decision path today.  Are you accepting 100% responsibility for your current livelihood?  By blaming others you are giving away your power, and by giving away your power, you are not left with the power you need to make a change.

The Soul Sisters